Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Thoughts on happiness

Happiness for me is a constant state of being that is removed from, but not isolated from your emotions. Thus, happiness should permeate life, and one should have that sense even when having a bad day. That said, it also explains my belief that something or even someone else will never make you happy - you need to be that on your own already. We can share our happiness, and other people can give us happy moments, but they cannot make us happy people.

However, we do get momentary happiness as well. It represents moments of pure elation that is engulfed in emotion. They are, if you will, bubbles of pure gold joy that pours from the centre of one's heart without warning and without planning. They can happen anytime, anywhere, and when they do, they give a natural high that can leave you smiling for a long time. They can be given and shared and remembered for a long time.

Soul circles

I don't believe that your life partner is your only soul mate. I believe you can have more than one soul mate, and that they needn't be romantic involvements. I believe in Soul Circles.

Soul circles contain the people in your life that make a permanent impression. They may be in your life for a very long time, or they may feature for only a short while - but they have an influence on your thoughts, your way of living, your heart.

These are the people you feel in your soul... the kind of person you can see every day and still have a lot to talk about - from random nonsense to the meaning of life. Soul circle people may even be those you see very seldom, yet you still don't feel awkward with them. Maybe that is what differentiates a soul circle connection - there is never an uncomfortable silence. The connection can be instant, or it can grow over good coffee or good wine.

Your soul circle contains the most precious people in your life, however you may define them. Guard it well.

The faces of love

So I read The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho, and it speaks about the three types of love - Agape (the love that consumes: God's love), Eros (romantic love) and Philos (friendship love).

Now this information is not news to me. I've heard of these before. But the book has set me to thinking about these faces of love...

Friendship love is, for me, the easiest to understand. I have no difficulty feeling and expressing affection for my friends. And accepting it from a wide variety of people. Also, I am constantly amazed at the depth and splendour this most humble form of love can demonstrate. It is the comfy pillow upon which peaceful dreams are dreamt, the warm down duvet in winter, the cool breeze in summer. It is a long icy cocktail and a cup of rich hot chocolate. It is the joy of being at home.

Agape - I adore how it is interpreted as "the love that consumes". This is the love God expressed by sending His Son for us. I don't think we have the ability to fully understand this love, but I am very glad that it exists, and that we are the objects of this divine love. It consumes all guilt, al tribulations, all worries, anxieties and pain. This is the love that heals completely.

Now Eros is another matter!!! From the first puppy love demonstrated by hitting the boy in the primary school class, to the soul-wrenching pain of the first broken heart of mature love, this is the face of love that elicits the most comments, songs, poems, books and thoughts. I think it is the "Helen of Troy" of all forms of love. Gorgeous enough to launch a thousand ships, but deadly enough to cause strong men to fall. It enraptures, beguiles, enchants and mystifies us. Even Solomon in all his wisdom admitted to not understanding the way of romantic love.

It is, at its best, a feeling of pure joy that bubbles from the warmest room in the infatuated heart. And at its worst, it has the power to crush said heart into a meaningless pulp of sadness. In the film Shadowlands this question is asked: "why love, if losing hurts so much?". I'm still not sure what the answer may be. I don't know anyone who has not seen the painful side of love. But I know many brave souls who venture out again to attempt to tame this most dangerous of beasts...

They are the most courageous people I know.

My water

Water: we all need it to survive. Actual clear, fresh life-giving water. It has many faces: it is the gentle mistiness of light spring rain; it is the thunderous roar of a waterfall. It can be the mighty depths of the ocean, or the mirror of a tranquil lake. Whatever its glorious form, water touches my heart and refreshes my soul.

In the same way, our hearts need a different kind of water:
water in the form of people. Yes they hurt us and disappointed us and break our trust, but in the end, people more often than not quench our thirst for companionship; for laughs, for understanding. For love.


Ek wil alles in Afrikaans doen.

Afrikaans my moedertaal:

my voertaal, my hart.

Ek wil liefhê in Afrikaans.

Ek wil droom in Afrikaans.

Ek wil eet, drink, sing in Afrikaans.

Ek wil lééf in Afrikaans.

Want dit leef in my.

Dit wriemel op my tong en kielie my verhemelte.

Dit sing in my ore en lag in my mond.

Dit karring aan my hartsnare en grawe in my kop.

Dit gee nooit op.

Afrikaans, mooiste taal –

gesels oor my gevoelens, my wese en bestaan.

Afrikaans, liefdestaal -

jy vertolk my.


this desire I feel

is driving me insane

I don’t get

why its only you

that can draw me out like this

but I get you

every time

I come to you

I know you will

I know you want to

I know I will

I know I want to

I told you last time

in the words of Galadriel

“I cannot deny …”

and you smiled

you were hoping for more

the music was addictive

and so are you

See me

You see me

not only my body but my heart

You see me

not only my eyes but my mind

You see me

not only my light but my dark

it scares me senseless

that you do

Water en wyngedagtes 1

Jy vang my woorde met jou vingers

en bottel dit in jou oë,

dan sê jy vir my dat jy water is;

maar hoewel ek lief vir wyn is,

het ek water nodig om te leef.

Rooi soos Cabernet

bloei die wonde wat jy

in my hart

genadeloos met jou ystervingers

gegrou het.

Kom lê by my:

jou oë blou van die dou

en jou lyf vol van die son.

Hou my teen jou

sodat ek jou hart voel klop

teen die lentebloeisels

wat geil groei uit my hart.

Jou liggaam is ‘n vlakte

waarop ek duine skilder…

my hande hardloop speels

oor die blond van jou borskas,

en soek die dale van jou naeltjie

om rakelings te spring

na die spiere

wat styf span in jou arms.