tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.comments2011-12-17T18:37:22.228+02:00Water and wine: this is what I think/feel/believeTaniahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01284016043940345084noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-44602156097007450272011-12-17T18:37:22.228+02:002011-12-17T18:37:22.228+02:00Bittersoet post hierdie Tania, dit het my baie aan...Bittersoet post hierdie Tania, dit het my baie aan my eie ma laat dink. Dankie dat jy gedeel het!Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-17382064747015608332011-01-24T15:49:59.370+02:002011-01-24T15:49:59.370+02:00Hi Tania...I knew your mother well. She was my tea...Hi Tania...I knew your mother well. She was my teacher, sorry to hear of her passing! <br /><br />I thankfully moved from Stilfonten in 1990 but would have matriculated in 92. I think your sister was with my brother...Dorneo van Niekerk.<br /><br />Look me up on facebook<br />Anna Leanda Thackray...my name then was Leanda van Niekerk<br />www.annaleandathackray.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08018604549231787669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-6238670387384771112009-08-25T00:38:24.151+02:002009-08-25T00:38:24.151+02:00beautiful poem here tania... you capture the emoti...beautiful poem here tania... you capture the emotion so well... thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with us readersJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415555531504843017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-25885075294331856452009-06-04T18:37:26.339+02:002009-06-04T18:37:26.339+02:00Awwwwwww :-)Awwwwwww :-)Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-33188089185478724632008-12-02T12:04:00.000+02:002008-12-02T12:04:00.000+02:00Thanks, Hopper! Always good to hear different opin...Thanks, Hopper! Always good to hear different opinions. And I agree that the bond should be there, regardless of whether the couple is married.<BR/><BR/>A Marriage certificate will not make two people closer or more committed. To each his/her own, I think - if you believe in marriage, get married. If you don't, then enjoy your relationship as it is. I think many people subconciously believe marriage will keep them together or ensure fidelity. I think that is not a good assumption - if the commitment and fidelity is not there from the start, a marriage license will not provide it magically.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-9338227507390807612008-12-02T00:48:00.000+02:002008-12-02T00:48:00.000+02:00I think that perhaps you were hitting around this ...I think that perhaps you were hitting around this idea of mine in some ways... but I'm not sure how many people agree...<BR/><BR/>Marriage is a social convention that we have invented for ourselves because at one time it served a purpose (apparently)...<BR/><BR/>In many place now the divorce rate is well over 50%... many people having two or three marriages... ergo... marriage is the leading cause of divorce...<BR/><BR/>If two people are committed to each other and have an emotional resonance (this may sound fatalistic) they will be together and not many things will be able to get in the way of that... "marriage" is only a formal contract between them, a contract which has little merit if they would be together anyways... if marriage serves a function (like making it easier to file taxes or to make it easier to register your children... sinister as that may sound) then why not get married... but don't do it because you believe that it forms a stronger bond... the bond should be there without marriage or marriage is doomed to fail...<BR/><BR/>I've heard it said that a wedding ring is no more than balance between fear and trust... a way that one person lays claim to another... as an antiquated idea this was exactly the function (or apparent function) I mentioned before... marriage was when a woman was given to a man and most often she had very little choice in the matter and it was a contract between two men... the husband wanted her to wear a ring so that other men would know that she was someone's possession... again... maybe I'm a cynic...<BR/><BR/>I've never been married and I'm not too sure that I want to be... I'm in a really lovely relationship but I don't believe that it would change anything to be married... my partner is herself not terribly interested in marriage for the reasons above (most of these opinions in fact come from her)... but perhaps some time if it makes sense to get things done... I guess it's just an opinion but the number of marriages I've seen crumple really doesn't add any credence to the convention...<BR/><BR/>Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear...<BR/><BR/>Thought provoking post...<BR/><BR/>JPJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415555531504843017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-83958862210279612362008-11-26T11:19:00.000+02:002008-11-26T11:19:00.000+02:00Thanks for the comments! And Sue, it is always nic...Thanks for the comments! And Sue, it is always nice to get feedback from someone with wisdom on the subject!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-47040357044651514142008-11-24T07:52:00.000+02:002008-11-24T07:52:00.000+02:00Well I'm no expert when it comes to marriage or ev...Well I'm no expert when it comes to marriage or even when it comes to long term relationships but what you say makes total sense. I like the image of marriage as a pilgrimage, I never thought of it like that but it makes sense the way you describe it. I think you are on to a deep true thing here.Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-43378920064102759162008-11-24T02:16:00.000+02:002008-11-24T02:16:00.000+02:00Tania - This is a very good post. I really enjoy ...Tania - This is a very good post. I really enjoy your thought processes. <BR/><BR/>Tim and I have been married for 12 years and I assure you that we do not always "feel" the love. To me, love in any relationship means commtment to the relationship no matter how you feel at any given moment.<BR/><BR/>You talk about the damage and pain divorce causes the two parties involved. I admit that I don't know much about the birth rate in SA but a big motivator for me to work things out when I'm not enjoying my marriage is seeing the damage that was inflicted on my two sweet step-daughters as a result of their parent's divorce. I would not want to be responsible for causing such pain and conflict in my two children's lives.<BR/><BR/>I say all of this to say that you are very wise to be cautious about making such a committment.<BR/><BR/>you are so right when you say that we have to lean on our faith during those difficult times that will inevitably come in marriageRandomSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00266089487669591255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-63955218421504959392008-11-02T01:17:00.000+02:002008-11-02T01:17:00.000+02:00Tania, I'm at a conference for writers right now, ...Tania, I'm at a conference for writers right now, and one of our keynote speaker talked about "writing the story you are meant to write". Not what sells, not what is popular but what derives from your personal experience. For, that's what's real - that's what readers will identify to - a true emotion and will be good for you as a writer to write, even if it never gets published.<BR/><BR/>What you've shared with us here is touching and moving in a way I don't often see on blogs. I see lots of sentiment - love lost, sweet memories, blah, blah, blah - but this, my dear. This is real. Thanks for sharing it. And honey - do something with whatever is in you that needs to be written. It's beautiful.Roxannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370629307564806889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-36823131709200550852008-10-16T15:51:00.000+02:002008-10-16T15:51:00.000+02:00Thanks Hopper - those words do indeed ring true. A...Thanks Hopper - those words do indeed ring true. And yes, I have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-37039459815787231352008-10-16T03:12:00.000+02:002008-10-16T03:12:00.000+02:00Gibran says, "The deeper that sorrow has carved in...Gibran says, "The deeper that sorrow has carved into your being the more joy you can contain."<BR/><BR/>Hope these words find you well and that you've found some peace from your ghosts...Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415555531504843017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-7929648026515251792008-09-30T13:25:00.000+02:002008-09-30T13:25:00.000+02:00Tan, that was beautiful and poignant and all too f...Tan, that was beautiful and poignant and all too familiar. I grew up in a small town just like that and even though my memories are different they are of the same flavour. I never went back after burying my dad. I left that very night and never looked back. Your words here really make me wonder how I would feel going back to my former home. Somehow I just don't feel like I have it in me. This is a brave thing you are doing, and a necessary one. Maybe I will try it for myself one day.Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-85874639990493949422008-09-29T18:25:00.000+02:002008-09-29T18:25:00.000+02:00Tania, I think you are onto something truly profou...Tania, I think you are onto something truly profound here. I think your observations are spot on and I would love to hear more. I have never thought of things this way but the way you put it makes total sense. Brilliant!Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-41390668635829601422008-09-15T08:24:00.000+02:002008-09-15T08:24:00.000+02:00I can live with this Tania!Now we just need to get...I can live with this Tania!<BR/>Now we just need to get those people who can distinguish around the table and then drink the whole case…Louishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18005165612379328215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-25811691396184355792008-09-01T09:36:00.000+02:002008-09-01T09:36:00.000+02:00Thanks for the comments and the wisdom. Good to he...Thanks for the comments and the wisdom. Good to hear I'm not alone in my views!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-56115305672058021152008-08-28T03:33:00.000+02:002008-08-28T03:33:00.000+02:00what a fascinating post, Tania! I like it.I have t...what a fascinating post, Tania! I like it.<BR/><BR/>I have to say, I like how you ended it. As I was reading it, and you described love a la scrambled, I got a sick feeling in my stomach, a nasty taste in my mouth.<BR/><BR/>Gibran is a strong believer in having separate identities in love and in relationships. You should read his chapter on love in "The Prophet". Beautiful.Roxannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370629307564806889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-28557070209025679742008-08-26T23:42:00.000+02:002008-08-26T23:42:00.000+02:00Tania - I like your analogies a lot. I agree comp...Tania - I like your analogies a lot. I agree completely with your take on this. Plucky and I have been married for 12 years and we are just now figuring this out. The American church likes to tell you that you cannot hang on to any individualism at all. We are discovering that this is a really destructive lie. It kills relationships.RandomSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00266089487669591255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-21613802481174738882008-08-26T09:45:00.000+02:002008-08-26T09:45:00.000+02:00Thats really well put! As romantic as "losing you...Thats really well put! As romantic as "losing yourself in your beloved" sounds, its not. The "scrambled eggs" type of relationship is really just a hot mess.<BR/><BR/>I still like actual scrambled eggs though...Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-80142315252479189842008-07-17T01:49:00.000+02:002008-07-17T01:49:00.000+02:00the thing about winter I try to keep in mind... sp...the thing about winter I try to keep in mind... spring must surely come...Jonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415555531504843017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-5479440866978167312008-07-13T23:03:00.000+02:002008-07-13T23:03:00.000+02:00Even though I love the winter I know exactly what ...Even though I love the winter I know exactly what you mean. This is imagery I am all too familiar with. Great poem.Eugenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17722877695054410613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-67580078098121106032008-06-16T08:50:00.000+02:002008-06-16T08:50:00.000+02:00this is a lovely short piece... very emotive and t...this is a lovely short piece... very emotive and telling... lots of taste...<BR/><BR/>thanks for continuing to share your work and ideas...<BR/><BR/>JONJonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07415555531504843017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-4537825084310607442008-05-30T07:44:00.000+02:002008-05-30T07:44:00.000+02:00Thank you Tania! I really enjoyed that translation...Thank you Tania! I really enjoyed that translation .. I just like hearing how the structure of the words show up in a different language ... I loved that phrase "away from the salt of my waters" .... lovely. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to more poetry (translated or untranslated) ...Roxannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370629307564806889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-1141036109604488342008-05-26T10:37:00.000+02:002008-05-26T10:37:00.000+02:00Thanks Honour, I really appreciate that, especiall...Thanks Honour, I really appreciate that, especially coming from you! I will do a translation sometime.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5557633723579138661.post-85900106554323207992008-05-24T16:13:00.000+02:002008-05-24T16:13:00.000+02:00Tania - you have a very unique style with your poe...Tania - you have a very unique style with your poetry. The way you put them together ... it's very refreshing - surprising almost. I like the phrase "autumn heart". I wonder if the freshness is because you are fluent in more than one language. I'd be interested to see one of your South African poems translated to English one day.Roxannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13370629307564806889noreply@blogger.com